Sometimes love just isn't enough
by Cityoffire1996
Summary: Maybe in the future we could have something but for now, I was going to be selfish. I was going to do something for myself and take some time. I wasn't going to be a puppet anymore; I wasn't going to have a master. "I'm sorry Reid, but I can't." Oneshot.


**A/N:** Hey guys, so I was listening to so music and reading some fics when I got this idea. I hope you like this. Reviewing would be nice :) Love you all and thanks for taking the time to read this!

**Dislcaimer:** I do NOT own the covenant, only my OC Ally Ferguson.

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><p>They told me that changing him was impossible; they said I couldn't do it, they said I couldn't make him a one girl kind of guy, but I was convinced I could. I told them that I was the one-the one to make him see that there was no other, that our relationship would be the one to last forever. No one believed me, not even Tyler Simms.<p>

I should have known better, I should have listened when they told me he was unchangeable. I had been played like a fool but then again, I was one. I was a fool for having the slightest hope that I-short, nerdy Ally Ferguson-could change the playboy ways of Reid Garwin; sex god and son of Ipswich.

He had used me, I was the puppet and he was the master. I sometimes wondered if any of it had been real, if for one second he had felt something towards me but I knew better then to get my hopes up. Reid Garwin couldn't love; he didn't have a heat to give away. I had poured my heart and energy into that relationship, always being the one to plan the dates, to make the phone calls, to start the conversation and whenever someone planted a seed of doubt in my brain, I would just push it aside and try extra hard to impress him.

I could still recall clearly the first day he spoke to me, the first day he ever took notice of me. March 12th, the first day of the week, I had been sitting-alone- at a desk in Science class when he had approached, his ever cocky smirk present on his handsome face. He greeted me and took the seat beside me, asking me my name and if I was new. Of course, it took some time to respond and when I did my voice had been shaky and barley above a whisper. _"I-Im Ally and n-no, I'm n-not."_

That was how it started and over the course of a year it grew. We started to talk in Science, then it escalated to chatting outside of class-in the library, in the halls and sometimes in line at the café and soon I was labelled as a friend. To think of myself as Reid Garwin's friend had been amazing, exciting and just plain awesome. I had soon become introduced to the other Sons of Ipswich, all of them acted kind around me and soon I was accepted into their little group, alone with Kate Tunney and the newfound transfer Sarah Wenham. The girls treated me with respected and brought me shopping whenever they went into town and as the weeks passed, my friendship with Reid grew.

He made his first move on May 9th, a few days after my birthday. I had been outside, following the old dirt trail around the school with him by my side, both of us discussing the recent relationship status of Aaron Abbot and Kira Snider when he had pulled me to a stop, that smirk turning into a small smile. I had raised an eyebrow, not speaking my curiosity but showing it, and had stopped breathing somewhere between when he yanked me into his arms and when his lips had touched mine.

From then on, things had gotten awkward and it wasn't until I had grown the courage to ask him what the kiss had been about, did he answer with a shrug and a carless _"you looked hot, so I kissed you."_ His response had made me angry, but I refused to give up. For days, I ignored him them on the eve of Friday May 20th, I had stormed to his dorm, kicking Tyler out with a sincere apology before demanding again to know why he had kissed me, only to be stopped when his lips had crushed against mine.

That day, our friendship had turned into a romance and though it started off great, it was like a roller-coaster. One minute we were on top of the world and the next, descending at a frightening speed towards heartbreak. He started acting different, becoming more distant and careless with his flirting, tossing winks at bartenders and smirks at women even if I was in the same room as him, sometimes standing right beside him. I had grown self-conscious, wondering if had been unworthy, not special enough so doing everything I could to win back his affection-I died my hair blonde and started wearing push up bras and tight clothing but all that did was get me a bad reputation. The rumours started soon after my change and Reid had finally begun to see me again, but not soon after he drifted back to flirting and I was once again stuck_-_what could I do to make him see me? He was my boyfriend, wasn't I supposed to be the only girl he thought of, wasn't I supposed to be the only girl he wanted to be with?

Those questions had bothered me up until the day he broke my heart- the day I finally got my answers. He had been supposed to meet me at Nicky's at 9, and by the time the bar had been getting ready to close, there had been to sign of him. I had been hurt but blew it off, deciding to make up a whole situation in my head as to why he hadn't showed up and the whole way back to Spencer, I had convinced myself he had got caught up in doing homework and didn't have his phone with him, or had no clocks around to check the time but as I neared his room, I began to realize the problem with my conclusion-Reid Garwin did NOT do homework.

I had knocked on the door, hoping he would answer and when he didn't, I twisted the door knob and was shocked to find it unlocked. Pushing the door open, I stepped inside the dim lit room and patted the wall for the light switch, flipping it up and blinking as the blinding light hit my eyes. The room was messy but that wasn't what had caught my attention, I had noticed right away that there were scoming from the bathroom and being the curious girl I was, I had marched right up to the door and peeked inside.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight. Reid had both his arms wrapped balanced against the counter as a petite girl with raven hair, tightened her hold around his waist, her legs squeezing together as he attacked the nape of her neck. I had choked back a sob, stumbled backwards and right into lamp, sending it crashing to the ground and caught the attention Reid. He had said nothing, just simply stared at me while the other girl laughed.

I remember now that she had been wearing one my shirts that had been left in his room and as if bearing the thought was too much, a tear trickled down my pale cheek as I yanked my sweater closer to my fragile body. My eyes wandered down at scene before me, taking in the many lights that shone from below-The dells, a place to break free and a place where I knew he would be-and as I neared the edge of the rocky cliff, I felt my legs begin to shake as silent sobs racked my body.

The moon illuminated the small pebbles before I stepped on them, a small ounce of pain soaring through my feet as the harsh edges dug deeper into the sensitive skin but I didn't stop, not until I reached the edge where I let my foot dangle in the air before pulling it back.

I had loved him…I still did but nothing was going to change the fact that he had torn my heart apart, without as much as an apology said towards me. The thought of jumping vaguely crossed my mind but I knew better then to let this anger and sadness take over and make irrational decisions. Killing myself would do nothing but upset my family and friends and in my opinion, let him win. I was not going to let him win, not ever.

The summer winds swept up leaves and dust and sent them flying around, hitting my body every once and a while and forcing me back to the protection of the tree. As I reached the large oak, I took notice of headlights approaching and ducked under into the shadows, watching with wide eyes as a Hummer parked metes away from my own car which was hidden in the trees and when the four doors opened, I knew who it was.

Caleb slid out from the back, followed by Sarah and Kate while Pogue exited on the other side, rounding the Hummer to grab his girlfriend's hand. Tyler jumped out of the passenger side and caught the keys as Reid tossed them to him, having already exited the spacious Hummer. He grinned as the youngest son frowned, and glanced around the cliff, eyes narrowed in on the car for a few seconds before shrugging.

"Wait," I looked over at Sarah and knew she had recognized my car. "That's-that's Ally's car isn't?" Catching the attention of everyone else-except Reid- they approached my car and inspected it before nodding in agreement. "Where is she?"

"I don't know? I don't see her." Tyler stated, eyes wandering the grounds, searching through the trees but not finding me.

"You-you don't think she jumped do you?" Kate asked. "I mean, she was pretty upset but she couldn't of taken her own life…right?"

"Of course not," Reid scoffed, but having known him so well, I caught the slightest hint of doubt at his own words, followed by a trace of sadness though it was gone in seconds. "She's probably just wandering around, you know her, always looking to explore."

"Is that her bracelet?" I glanced down at my wrist, noticing the absence of my red, jewelled bracelet that had been a gift from my mother then up at Sarah as she lifted it into her hands, now worried that I had jumped since it had been found so close to the edge. "Caleb…?"

"I'm sure she's fine, Red's probably right, she's just hanging around someplace."

"ALLY!" Kate called out, ignoring Pogue's protest and walked a bit closer towards the trees, hands cupping over her mouth as she yelled again. I sighed, running a hand over my face before stepping out into the light, earning a gasp and cries of joy as both Sarah and Kate dashed over, attacking me with hugs. "Where were you? Why are you out here alone at this time of night?"

"Just thinkin," I replied, ignoring his gaze and wondering if he had ever paid attention to me when I had told him that I liked to think outside. "Look, I should go, it's getting late and I'm not dressed for this kind of weather."

"I can see that, how long have you been out here?"

"Almost the whole day, I just wanted to get away from it all." Hugging my sweater closer, I offered the girls a small smile before walking past them and over towards the trees my car. "I guess I'll see you guys later." I stepped into the shadows, a smile gracing my lips when I reached my car and yanking it open, I almost stifled a scream when it was forced shut by a gloved covered hand. My whole body stiffened as I followed the hand, my eyes trailing up the arm until I reached his tattoos, stopping for a few seconds before I reached his face which was clouded with a foreign emotion. "What are you doing here Reid?"

"Ally," He swallowed. I took a step back, gripping my car door tighter and attempted to open it but was once again, stopped as he pushed it shut. "Please…just…I," He ran a hand through his hair, blinking away that emotion, before truly meeting my gaze. "I want to say that…I'm sorry I fucked up."

Opening my mouth, I was ready to snap and scream at him for hurting me so much but he started up again, talking in a shaky voice, rocking back and forth on his feet with his hands stuffed nervously into his jean pockets. "You have to know; that I do care about you…I just never knew how to show it."

Tears prickled at my eyes as he continued. "I was hoping, if you'd give me that chance…could we maybe work it out?"

A million thoughts ran through my head, a shocked expression passed over my face. I couldn't believe he was asking for a second chance, never had I heard of such a thing but at the same time, I wondered if I could trust him.

Closing my eyes, I thought about everything he had put me through, all the lies and the secrecy, could I go through that again? My mind seemed to be going in circles, jumping from one happy memory to a time in our relationship when he had hurt me, to a time when all I wanted to do was be his "girl" but ended up just being another girl he had fucked with.

_They told me that changing him was impossible; they said I couldn't do it, they said I couldn't make him a one girl kind of guy, but I was convinced I could. _Did I still think that?_ He had used me, I was the puppet and he was the master._ I knew better then to fall for him again because somehow it would end the same and I would leave heartbroken. Tears danced in my eyes as I opened them, he stared at me, nervously waiting, his blue eyes sparkling with that emotion, that one emotion I had longed to see pointed at me; love. After so much, I had finally gotten it, what I wanted all along- to be loved by Reid Garwin but was it worth it? The questions that had been bugging me now had theirs answers but a new round of question where now dancing around my head. Could I trust him, could he actually love me?

A sigh escaped my lips as I shook my head. He seemed to go still, his eyes widening as I repeated the motion, my head moving from left to right, letting him know I had made a decision; no.

They say being selfish is bad, that you should think of others and be fair but sometimes there are situation such as this when you need to be selfish, when you need to put yourself first. I couldn't stand having my heart broken again; I don't think it would be fair because what evidence was there that he had changed? There was none, only his promise but right now, that meant little.

Who knows, maybe in the future we could have something but for now, I was going to be selfish, I was going to do something for myself and take some time-to think, to live, to be free. I wasn't going to be a puppet anymore; I wasn't going to have a master. "I'm sorry Reid, but I can't." And with those last words being said, I watched as he nodded and backed away, allowing me to enter my car and drive off back towards Spencer. Because as much as I loved him, sometimes love just isn't enough.

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><p><strong>AN:** Well there you go, I really hoped you liked it. I tried to write it in a different style then most of my other One Shot, please let me know what you think, it means a lot to hear from you all and let me know if you think I should write another One Shot focused on Reid's P.O.V or if you'd like to see any other One Shots surronding this fic. :)

Love you all, cityoffire101


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